EXERCISE 4:        RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONNAIRE

 

I think our relationship is

Very happy

happy

unhappy

very unhappy

My partner thinks our relationship is

Very happy

happy

unhappy

very unhappy

 

When disagreements arise, I think

I usually give in   

my partner usually gives in

we mutually agree

When disagreements arise, my partner thinks

I usually give in   

my partner usually gives in

we mutually agree

 

When it comes to social activities and recreation, I think

We do too much    

we do just enough

we should do more

When it comes to social activities and recreation, my partner thinks

We do too much    

we do just enough

we should do more

 

(for married couples)

I wish I had not married

Always

frequently

sometimes 

never

I think my partner wishes s/he had not married

Always

frequently   

sometimes            

never

If I could live my life over, I would marry

the same person   

a different person

not at all

If my partner could live his/her life over, I think s/he would marry

the same person                 

a different person                                     

not at all

 

I want my partner to be a certain kind of person

always                  

frequently

sometimes

never

Details:

 

 

My partner wants me to be a certain kind of person

always                   

frequently

sometimes

never

Details:

 

 

During arguments, do you think you fight fairly

always                  

frequently

sometimes

never

Do you think your partner thinks you fight fairly

always                  

frequently

sometimes

never

Do you think your partner fights fairly

always                  

frequently

sometimes

never

Do you think your partner thinks he or she fight fairly

always                  

frequently

sometimes

never

I can be critical of my partner without being upset myself

always                  

frequently

sometimes

never

My partner can be critical of me without my becoming upset

always                  

frequently

sometimes

never

I think my partner disapproves of me

always                  

frequently

sometimes

never

I disapprove of my partner

always                  

frequently

sometimes

never

I think my partner does not like me the way I am

always                  

frequently

sometimes

never

I don't like my partner the way he or she is now

always                   

frequently

sometimes

never

I think my partner's outward response to me is different from what he or she is feeling inside

always                  

frequently

sometimes

never

My outward response to my partner is different from what I am feeling inside

always                  

frequently

sometimes

never

I feel a risk in being open and honest with my partner about my inner feelings

always                  

frequently

sometimes

never

I think my partner feels a risk in being open and honest with me about his or her inner feelings

always                  

frequently

sometimes

never

What other people think of me affects the way my partner feels about me

always                  

frequently

sometimes   

never

What other people think of my partner affects the way I feel about him or her

always                  

frequently

sometimes

never

When I'm honest with my partner about my feelings, he or she gets upset or withdraws

always                  

frequently

sometimes

never

When my partner is honest with me about his or her feelings, I get upset or withdraw

always                  

frequently

sometimes

never